


YUANFEN

by EdgarLee



Category: Mystic Messenger
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Red Thread of Fate, Soulmate AU, good ending, its cute and short!, mainly just fluff, never trust witches, told from jumins perspective, yuanhen, zen is a god, zen is the god of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:20:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24205033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdgarLee/pseuds/EdgarLee
Summary: YUANFEN: “fateful coincidence," is a concept in Chinese and Vietnamese societies describing good and bad chances and potential relationships. It can also be translated as "destiny, luck as conditioned by one's past," or "natural affinity among friends."“Today I met the god of love... I’ve learned something about him that makes me pity him.”
Relationships: Han Jumin/Zen | Ryu Hyun, Rika/V
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	1. Today I Met the God of Love

Today I met the god of love; the matchmaker and the one who ties our red strings. They call him Hyun Ryu but he says I can call him Zen. Today, I learned something about him, and it makes me pity him. 

When I first saw the god, it was unexpected. I had no belief in superstition but I did believe in god, just not in many. I was a Christian after all but, the phrase “see it to believe it” seemed to have stuck with me in that moment. 

Yuanfen, “fateful coincidence," is a concept in Chinese and Vietnamese societies describing good and bad chances and potential relationships. It can also be translated as "destiny, luck as conditioned by one's past," or "natural affinity among friends." V, my dear friend, had accompanied me on a business trip to finish closing a deal with a Chinese company for C&R. 

V often loved sightseeing in the free time when he came with me, it was only fair I went with him during his ventures. I thought I should feel bad dragging him around with me all of the time for my business trips simply because I lacked company but I didn’t truly feel that way. I knew out of courtesy I shouldn’t bother asking him to come with every time simply because he has a life on his own and especially not for the excuse of my loneliness. But even though I deny I’m lonely, I’ve come to accept the fact that that is what I feel most days. 

V had figured it out before me and I feel that is why he seems inclined to always travel with me. So, out of gratitude, I go with him on his ventures to find beautiful sights to photograph. 

Today though, when we entered the Chinese open shrine for matchmaking and lovers, I hadn’t expected to see any gods. I didn’t believe in them, truthfully I thought it was just a scam for couples. V thought otherwise even with our similar religious background, he always thought there to be more than one god for each culture. 

“I wish Rika could have come with us... I feel she would have enjoyed it. But sadly she stayed behind.” V spoke as he looked at the couple themed souvenirs. 

“She said she had some things she needed to do with the new apartment, can you blame her?” I spoke. Rika would have gone but she had done as I had explained, decided to finish unpacking their apartment. 

“Hm, maybe I chose this place unconsciously because I miss her.” V chuckled and ran his fingers over a board with Chinese characters, I figured it to be a prayer board. 

“Perhaps, but it does seem like a nice place for photography.” V nodded and seemed to scope out some more places for his camera to be used. Whilst he was preoccupied I decided to take a gander myself. 

As I wandered I noticed that the couples seemed to never end. They were everywhere. It made me sick almost. But it also made me miss my dear Elizabeth. I had only had her for about a month at this point but I deeply loved her. She was a beautiful Persian and her eyes were so blue that I could imagine swimming in them. Her nose a soft pink and her toe pads even softer for of course I would never let her damage her perfect paws. The feeling of her soft fur under my hands and her whiskers rubbing against my cheek makes me long for my beautiful lady. 

I yearned for my dear Elizabeth so much that I almost thought I saw white hair as white and delicate as hers. It wasn’t until I took another look that I realized I wasn’t hallucinating. 

Sitting leisurely on the roof of the main shrine was a man with long white hair and piercing red eyes. He wore a red kimono with rose embroidery and gold lining. His hair was long and loose and seemed to flow gently in the cool breeze. He held a Japanese style looking umbrella behind him, a little odd for the location he was in but beautiful to the sight nonetheless. Jumin thought he might be a model and vaguely wondered where V had run off too. Maybe V could ask him to model for him. 

I was going to look for V until I noticed something odd. The man was weaving red strings between his fingertips and I wondered how he’d made it onto the roof of the shrine. It was much too tall and had no footing to properly climb onto. I watched a moment longer and couldn’t find it in me to look away. Especially not when red eyes met my gaze. 

The man’s lips seem to part in a silent gasp. 

But then he smiled and waved a hand. I couldn’t help but wave back, it was only polite. I turned my head to the side to continue my search for V and when I looked back to the shrine, the man was nowhere to be seen. 

Had I imagined him? An unearthly beauty like his could only be a hallucination. 

“Hello,” a kind male voice spoke from behind me and I turned to see the white haired man from before. 

“How did you?” I started. 

“You can see me.” The man interrupted. I held back a frustrated feeling in my stomach at my question not only being interrupted but ignored as well. 

“Yes, should I not be able to? I’m not blind.” I watched the man’s shoulders shake and a light chuckle escape his lips. 

“Why of course not, you’re a human after all. Though it does depend on your past life, maybe you were given a blessing. I’ve not met a human like that before but I know a god who has.” 

“God? Human? Oh you’re crazy.” I stated matter a factly and watched the man’s expression turn from humor and curiosity to a deadpan look. 

“You’re serious? I’m a god.”

“No such thing.” 

“I literally appeared behind you from on top of that shrine? How would a human do that?”

“Movie affects? This must be some prank or something.” As if to prove my point I looked around suspiciously. 

“Insufferable.” The man shook his head and sighed. “Ah! I know how to prove it!” The man grabbed my hand and I immediately felt uncomfortable at the sudden touching and was about to protest until I saw the man’s expression. 

“You don’t have one.” He said with a furrow to his brow. “This will not do.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked. 

“Allow me to formally introduce myself. My name is Hyun Ryu the god of love but you may call me Zen, it’s what the locals call me. I am a matchmaker and the one who ties your red strings. Take a look around you.” The man said. I looked around as he advised and saw nothing differently. 

“I don’t see anything.” I said and watched the man roll his eyes. 

“Ok that ones on me.” The man tapped two fingers to the center of my forehead and I really wanted to discuss his bad habit of touching people but, sure enough my vision seemed to change. When I looked around I saw what looked to be red strings attaching to people around each other and some even reaching out the entrance of the shrine. 

“What... are those?” I asked the man. 

“Their red strings. They connect to their soulmate.” I looked back at the man and saw a smile on his lips as he seemed to observe some of the couples who’s strings connected to each other. I looked at my hand he was still holding but found no such string. 

“Is that what you meant then. That I do not have a soulmate?” I asked and ignored the twinge in my chest. It would not bother me. 

The man looked back at me and his expression turned somber. “Yes, I’m afraid the god of fate didn’t give you one, but I can change that!”

“No need.” The man looked surprised. 

“What?”

“I do not want one. I already have one.”

“Oh you do? But you do not have a string-“

“I do not need a string to tell me that Elizabeth is not my soulmate.”

“So you’ve met someone already, but if you don’t have a string I’m afraid they can’t possibly be your soulmate.”

“It is fine, she does not have a string either I presume.” The god, as he seemed to be, looked shocked. 

“And what makes you assume so?”

“She’s a cat, I do not presume animals have soulmates.” The man’s expression was the most deadpan I’d seen yet so far and he seemed to have an array of deadpanned faces. 

“Your soulmate... is a cat?” The man seemed to shudder and hug himself with his arms. It didn’t matter to me seeing as my hand was now free. 

“Yes. Well I really should be going, I’m with a friend.” 

“Oh um wait! Will I be seeing you again sometime?” The god looked nervous to ask such a thing and to be frank it was a strange question. 

“Well I do not live here, I am only here for business but I will be here for the week so I suppose I could come back if needed.” The god seemed to perk up. 

“Then you should come again tomorrow.” He said suddenly. 

“And why is that?” I questioned. This man truly confused me. 

“Don’t be a jerk about it, I simply don’t have any company so... I thought we could talk some more.” I thought about it. The god’s body language seemed bashful and I see no reason to come again to this shrine but if V needed more photos then I suppose I’d have to come. 

“I’ll see, if my schedule will allow it.” Zen, I remembered the god had a name, seemed to smile at that. 

“Well then, I’ll see you again.” He spoke with a tilt to his lips. 

“Yes, I suppose.” 

After the interaction with the god, he seemed to vanish. When I met up with V I could not see him anywhere on the shrine’s sight. It was a strange day. 

That was yesterday. Today I had a meeting in the morning and that had been as successful as it could be. Though the evening meeting had been canceled due to a health issue with one of the contractors, which left V and I with an empty schedule. I asked if he’d wanted to go back to the shrine we had visited and he’d agreed to go, though he didn’t ask why the sudden fascination and I didn’t want to question it either. 

Today I learned that the god is a hopeless romantic and spends a lot of time on matchmaking us with our soulmates. 

I watched him tie strings of a happy couple with a pleasant smile on his face. I also watched him yell at a man for buying his girlfriend the wrong flowers but it was obvious the man could not see him. I think Zen knew he couldn’t but he continued to yell anyway to release his frustrations. It was an odd sight. The god himself is an odd, albeit beautiful, sight. 

The god of love is a matchmaker. He is kind but sometimes when I see him, he looks sad. I don’t get it myself quite yet. How can someone so passionate feel upset? He’s immortal, beautiful, obviously enjoys his job, what else could there be that he needs. 

I watched the man tie a couple’s string once more like he had done the other couple’s before but he seemed less enthusiastic. His fingers were slow and he didn’t hold a smile. 

I watched the god today. We conversed here and there but I mostly watched him work. It was interesting to say the least. I enjoyed it. 

But It makes me wonder how he can be so sad. It wasn’t until I noticed something, or rather, something he lacked. And it made me wonder. 

“Hey, Zen.” The god turned from his strings and looked toward me. “Why don’t you have a red string?”

“Me? Oh I don’t have a red string because... I’m a matchmaker, we don’t have soulmates.” The man’s eyes held the same emotion I had observed before. 

I knew it. That expression, I’d felt it once before. The god is lonely. I didn’t like the expression on him. 

“I see. Well I have to go for today, but I’ll be back tomorrow.” The god looked pleased to hear my promise, a promise I didn’t know if I could keep but I would make sure I’d hold myself accountable too. I don’t know why I felt so keen on coming back but, something in my chest kept pulling me. 

I had kept my promise and returned the next day. 

Today I learned that not having a soulmate really bothers the god... I should’ve known since he is a hopeless romantic. 

When I saw him he was looking towards the distance and twisting a red thread around his fingers. 

“Zen,” I called, jolting him out of his thoughts. 

“Hm? Oh...” he finally noticed my presence. 

“What are you doing with the thread?” I asked. It seemed obvious he was just fiddling with it but I had no other ideas on a conversation starter. 

“It’s not attached to anything... I just like to imagine yknow?” Zen spoke with a calm voice, sadness seeping in from its edges. Zen was always so expressive. His lack of soulmate seemed to really bother him and I couldn’t understand. Though if my feelings of longing for Elizabeth were compared than maybe I could try to understand how the god felt. “As if I could tie my own string and find a soulmate.” He laughed bitterly. 

I felt pity for him. A useless emotion but one I felt nonetheless. 

“But as a god and a matchmaker... we don’t get love.” He seemed almost confused by his own statement and I was as well. Who said gods of love don’t get their own love. I wondered if it could be changed but I figured the god would have done something about it already if it could’ve been. “But thank you for listening.” Zen spoke once again and brought me out my own head. “It’s nice.”

“I didn’t say anything useful but I guess if listening helps then my ear is always open.” The god smiled at my words and I wondered what it would cost to keep the smile there. 

“Well, I should go... strings to tie yknow!” The smile didn’t last long. 

“Right, I too have things to attend.”

“Well, bye.” I nodded and watched the god walk away in his red kimono carrying his red umbrella. My heart ached and I wondered if it was because he was the god of love that I was feeling these things near my heart. These feelings. 

I gripped my hand against my chest, feeling the the ache on the inside, I wondered if I was sick. 

“Hanging around gods is dangerous.” I wondered aloud to myself. It was dark around the shrine as the sun had finished setting. V hadn’t accompanied me today. He’d stopped accompanying me after he found all of the photos he could from the shrine’s location. But I continued to visit. “I should leave now.” 

I started my walk to the entrance of the shrine but noticed a hill I hadn’t seen before. It was grassy and had a tall ledge that seemed to overlook the city. What stood out to me though was the white haired figure that sat on the hill staring up at the moon and the starry sky. A sight from far away but a sight to behold. He seemed to be praying. 

The god, desperate enough for a soulmate of his own... set aside his pride and prayed to the goddess of the moon. It brought a sad quirk to my lips and the feeling in my chest bloomed in an ache. 

What is this feeling? Is it pity? Is it sorrow? Is it the feeling of being able to relate on a deeper level that is unaware to me? What is it that draws me to this god? Why do I want to reach out for him and touch him? What is wrong with me? 

I shook my head and continued my exit of the shrine. It wasn’t my business. The god who longed for a soulmate wasn’t my business. The god who prayed to the moon wasn’t my business. The god who always wore a smile for every happy couple even though he himself was so painstakingly alone wasn’t my business. 

The ache in my chest at his somber faces had nothing to do with me. Maybe I really am sick. Why else would I be feeling like this? 

When I returned home I fell fast asleep. I could only dream about white. White fur turned to white hair and pale skin. Blue eyes turned to red. And soft pink noses turned to soft pink lips and flushed cheeks. 

The next day when I went to go see the god he seemed missing. I wondered if he had decided not to show up or if he had slept in. Did gods sleep? Even so, I waited. I had nothing left of my business with the Chinese franchise to do. We had closed the deal early so that V could go home and see Rika and help with the apartment but I had decided to stay behind for the full week. Why?

All because of a white haired god I’d met? Why? Was it because of these emotions I didn’t know the name of? Why? I missed Elizabeth so why did I stay behind rather than rush home to her? I wish I could have someone tell me how I feel but talking about this with V felt intrusive. Like a secret only me and Zen knew. I realized I didn’t often call the god by his true name. I usually referred to him as the god but, he said I could call him Zen. 

“Zen...” I tested the name on my lips as I leaned against the shrine, and almost like a prayer, I heard a familiar voice to my side. 

“Jumin!” I glanced up from my feet and watched the god, no, Zen run to me with his umbrella behind him. He looked ecstatic, more excited than I’d ever seen him. “Look!” He raised his hand and I felt a twinge on my own hand. 

I then noticed the red string tied to his pinky that seemed to stretch toward me. And at the same time our eyes followed the end of the thread. The end of the red string was attached to my own pinky and our eyes met. He seemed to cover his mouth from shock, only for his lips to curve into a beautiful smile. 

“It’s you... it’s always been you.” He said. And suddenly I understood what the feeling in my chest was. I understood the ache. And I understood the pain in the man’s eyes every time he tied a couple to their soulmate. 

When I saw the god today, he looked even more beautiful. I guess love does that to you... I can feel it rubbing off on me too. 

•Bonus 

“We’re soulmates.” I muttered and Zen seemed to leap from his spot. He grabbed my shoulders and held me close to him and this time I didn’t feel uncomfortable by his touch. The feeling in my chest eased into a low burn that didn’t hurt, it felt warm and fluttery. I let my arms fall to his waist and leaned my head against his, he was maybe a head shorter then me but I didn’t mind the distance. 

“Mm!” He hummed in agreement and I felt him hold me tighter. 

“I almost can’t believe it, I suppose praying to the moon really does work.”

“You saw that?” The shorter male looked up at me and he seemed to freeze. His hands reached up to my face and I realized why. I was smiling. And I couldn’t wipe it off my face. But I found I didn’t mind it too much. 

“I did.”

“You’re much prettier when you smile.”

“So are you.” Watching Zen’s face turn red was the highlight of my day I think. 

“Well, of course I’m always pretty.”

“Mm,” I nodded in agreement. 

“Ah, I didn’t expect you to agree but... ah whatever! Just kiss me already!” He spoke with an amusing frustrated tone and I couldn’t deny him. I leaned down and brushed my lips against his tentatively. It was my first kiss after all. But the god of love held my face and kissed me deeper. It was like a matching puzzle piece and the warmth in my chest expanded to my head and my toes and made me feel light on my feet. Ah, I might get addicted to this. 


	2. Bad Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ I’m afraid not. The love of a love god is not for any mortal or fellow immortal, but instead for itself love is the love. So therefore, you may not have a soulmate and even if I wanted to, I could not change that.” Zen was never fond of astrological riddles that his immortal counterparts seemed to be. Simply because he could never understand the full meaning at times. 
> 
> “If I can’t have a soulmate then I’ll make one.” His grin stretched wide. Jumin couldn’t recognize the god. 
> 
> “Is this what love is?” The darker haired male wondered as he felt his freedom get stripped bare by what the god referred to as the beast in him.

Zen held his hands tightly clasped as he looked toward the moons cool light; begging, pleading. 

“Please... I will cast my pride away all I ask for is the chance to love.” Words spilling like honey from his lips. 

He felt the air shift and the spark of a new breeze come in. He felt no answer from the moon above. With a sigh he laid on his back and continued to watch the stars unblinkingly, sit in the sky.

He felt his eyes grow tired and soon found himself fast asleep. When his eyes opened, he was met with the face of a goddess. He looked around and saw they were standing on a lake and he could see the moons reflection under the goddess’s feet. 

“You responded.” He said with a voice of awe. The girl looked up at him and smiled. 

“I’m afraid I can’t give you the response you want.” Zen’s brows furrowed. 

“Then, I really can’t have a soulmate?” 

“I’m afraid not. The love of a love god is not for any mortal or fellow immortal, but instead for itself love is the love. So therefore, you may not have a soulmate and even if I wanted to, I could not change that.” Zen was never fond of astrological riddles that his immortal counterparts seemed to be. Simply because he could never understand the full meaning at times. The goddess continued to speak. “But I know of someone who might be able to help.” 

Zen’s ears seemed to perk up and a rush of hope filled his chest from the goddess’s words. 

“Who?” He asked with haste. 

“A witch I once knew quite closely. She’s skilled in the art of spell and soul binding.” Zen listened closely to each word the goddess spoke and watched her hair twirl in the wind, intently. 

“Who is she? Where could I find her?” The goddess looked to her feet and stared at the stars beneath them. 

“Are you sure?”

“What about?” Zen was curious about the tone of the goddess’s voice but he mostly wanted answers for his questions. 

“I see...” she seemed to make her mind up the moment she looked back up at the god. “I will show you to her.” The goddess outstretched an arm and Zen felt the air around him shift in a gust, blowing her and his hair back in tendrils. 

He closed his eyes against the force and once they reopened he was in front of a door. A dark wooden door with bridges and nicks in its front. The handle was a bulb of wood and Zen turned it. 

“Excuse me.” He spoke into the dark of the room he stepped into. The moment the door shut the room lit up with candles and it looked like a cottage filled with herbs and jars. A witches coven, very aesthetically arranged and synonymous to all stereotypes he had ever heard of witches. 

“Come in...” the sound of velvet filled his ears from all around but he somehow could tell where the witch was. When he entered further he noticed a young woman in a long white dress spinning straw on a wheel. He noticed it wasn’t just straw but she was spinning it into gold. Maybe she could help after all. 

“Hello, I am Zen and I need help.” He said. He watched the girls hands stop spinning and her attention flicked to him. She had long brown hair, and her bangs covered her eyes. 

“I know.” She smiled. “They all do and I help. You want love right? I can help.” Zen smiled, she knew, she understood, maybe he could finally get his happy ending! 

“Yes! How?” He asked. She stood from her stool and walked to her cupboard of jars. 

“It will hurt but it will work. In order to achieve happiness you must endure pain first.” Zen thought her wording was weird but it made sense in a way. Or maybe he was just blinded by hope. 

Maybe that’s why, when the strange woman handed him a vial of blue, he immediately drank it without a thought. 

“There will be conditions. Condition one, you will be human. Condition two, you will be slowly dying by the own confines of your love. The only way to cure it will be by getting the attention of your love to reciprocate.” The girl smiled at him and he felt regret in his chest, or maybe that was the thorns tightening. “I help. I always help. Always, every time someone needs me I help no matter what. Because of my empathy. I care and I help. I make love and make them fall in love and I cure love and I am empathy. Right? I did good, I do good. I bring happiness. What’s a little pain when you can be happy in the end.” Zen now realized why the moon goddess had looked at him the way she had. This girl had lost her mind, she’d been broken beyond repair and now so would he. 

“I’m dying..” he choked out in a strangled gasp. He could feel the petals in his throat and the thorns grow. He could feel flowers unfurling and blooming inside of him. 

“Yes but your love can save you.”

“But I don’t have someone I love! I haven’t met anyone! That’s why I wanted a soulmate!” 

“But you have. That is what is eating you up from the inside, is your love.” The girl said. 

Zen stopped. 

Could it be? Could he have fallen for the mortal he met? Jumin? 

He felt his head rush and his limbs grow heavy. When he awoke it was to the moon and stars covered by clouds and a scratchy feeling in his throat. 

Today I learned that the god was ill. Very ill. 

Jumin waited by the shrine for the god and when he appeared he looked different. His eyes were deeper, but less focused. His nose was more red and his neck had scratch marks. 

“Zen, what happened to you?” Jumin asked in alarm. The god merely twirled the umbrella in his hands 

“I trusted a witch.” He said in the same aloof voice he always held. “I’m no longer a god.” Jumin’s eyes widened. That’s right, he didn’t seem to have an unearthly glow, he seemed more dim, but nonetheless still beautiful. “But, on the bright side I’m allowed to love.” The god spoke with a smile and Jumin could see the strain. 

“But you still don’t have a soulmate.” Jumin pointed towards the man’s stringless pinky. 

“Mm.” The man hummed in agreement. “I don’t. But I do have a love, but it will kill me.”

“Kill.. you’re dying?” Jumin didn’t know what the twist in his chest was. The god would die, and over something he so desperately wanted. 

“Yes, but don’t worry about me. Let’s spend my days left together! Ok Jumin?” The god said with a smile that almost reached his eyes. Jumin nodded. He had already decided to expand his stay. 

Jumin spent the next days with the god, leaving the shrine but always returning. It was strange, being around the god knowing he was no longer a god. He felt more human. He had fits of anger and, he had fits of sobbing. He was much more emotional. 

Though what got to Jumin the most was the petals escaping the man’s lips. He would cough and hack up flowers and thorns and blood. The first time it happened Jumin ran to the man’s side and held his hair back as he gasped for breath on the floor. 

“Zen!” Jumin yelled and rushed to the man now on the floor, heaving. Jumin saw blots of red streaming from his lips and petals and thorns. This was worse then he’d thought. Even knowing this was meant to kill the man he could have never expected this. It made a part of Jumin feel ill himself. 

The day had passed and another had come. It wasn’t until he made careful observations, did he realize the god would not have much longer. It had only been a couple days and yet it was coming to an end so soon. 

“Zen, you said you have a love.” The two were stargazing, Zen’s favorite past time. 

“Hm?” Jumin waited to see if the man would continue but he seemed lost in thought. 

“Zen.”

“Oh, right. The witch told me I was dying because of a love I had, and if not reciprocated then I would surely die.” 

“Do they know?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because then I’d be dead already.” Zen sounded so sure but Jumin wasn’t. What was love anyway? Can’t you make someone love you easily?

“Then make them love you.” Zen turned and looked at him with a surprised expression. “What?”

“I’m afraid you can’t just make someone fall for you-“ Zen seemed to almost laugh. 

“Why not?” Jumin interrupted. “Surely if you show them how serious you are about them, enough to die for them then surely they’ll love you.”

“Would you?” Zen’s words surprised the dark haired man. 

“What?”

“Would you love me?” 

“...” the man was silent. Jumin didn’t know what love was. “I don’t know.” 

The white haired man was silent. “Then surely it wouldn’t matter right?”

“Hm?”

“If I made my own soulmate than I wouldn’t be stuck with this love. I could save myself right?” 

“Maybe. But who would you make your soulmate?” 

Zen suddenly shook his head. “...that’s absurd. You can’t force someone to love you. It’s wrong.” Zen didn’t make anymore comments and Jumin couldn’t bring himself to speak either. 

The next day Jumin came back he waited and waited and the man hadn’t appeared. He then started to think that maybe he was sick of him. Jumin quickly tossed the thought away, Zen was ill so maybe he couldn’t get to him. 

Jumin heard the tale tell sound of coughing and followed it to see Zen hunched in the corner of the shrine. He didn’t know there was a way to enter the building but he supposed it would make sense seeing as this was the ex god’s home. 

Jumin ran to the white haired man and held his hair and ran his hands up and down his back. 

“Make it stop! I don’t want to die!” The man yelled and it echoed through the shrine. The shrine that was so dark that the only light came from the setting sun, casting a red hue. 

“Zen-“ Jumin tried to calm the man. 

“I don’t want to die! I just want a soulmate! To be loved! Is that too much to ask?” The man sobbed and was choked out of his tears by a flower making its way past his throat. After he’d stopped heaving Zen seemed to remember Jumin was there. 

Zen grabbed his chest at the sight of Jumin and his breathing grew heavy. 

“If I can’t have a soulmate then I’ll make one.” His grin stretched wide. Jumin couldn’t recognize the god. Perhaps it was because he was no longer a god but a simple human who was close to death. 

Jumin felt hands grab his wrists and pin him down on his back. Suddenly he was met with the face of a dying beauty. Zen’s body was outlined in red and his hair fell down his shoulders in silky strips. 

“Will you be my soulmate?” Zen whispered and leaned closer to Jumin. 

Jumin didn’t know what love was. He just knew he enjoyed the man’s company and that he was dying. Jumin didn’t know what love was but he figured if he was happy and he was cared for, could it be love? Could he love Zen and save him? He’d like to think yes, and maybe that’s why he answered that. 

The smile he got in return was so blindingly beautiful that Jumin couldn’t regret his words. 

“Ah, what are you doing to me? I even have you pinned. How ungentlemanly of me. I didn’t mean to force you like that.” Zen stood up and helped Jumin up to stand. 

“Zen?” Jumin said into the dark red between them. Zen held a hand against his face covering an eye as he looked down. 

“I’m sorry, I almost let the beast of myself get the better of me.” Zen looked up through stray strands of hair and thin fingers with tears. “Please forgive me-“

“Zen, if you love someone then hold onto them. Don’t worry about me. I’ll stay with you, forever.” Jumin grabbed Zen’s hand away from his face and held it in his own. Zen’s smile reappeared. 

“You can’t tease me like that.” Zen said dryly. “Or else I’ll think you mean it.”

“I do.” Jumin held his gaze strongly. “I’m yours as much as you are mine. Don’t even think about letting me go. And I won’t think about letting you go.”

“Jumin, I- I don’t own you-“

“But you could.”

“That’s a beastly way of thinking of love.”

“But it’s alright isn’t it? Our love can be like this can’t it?” Jumin seemed unsure himself. Did Zen not want him? Zen seemed to notice his unease and leaned closer to the taller man. 

“Yes, our love can be like this.” Zen whispered against the others lips. “Our love can be like the strings I used to tie. You are my soulmate after all. I will give you everything and anything, you will be mine and I yours. Forever. You shall never leave. I will tie you to me.” 

Jumin nodded and accepted the lips of the man who felt like the color red. Red strings, red lips, red blood. 

“Is this what love is?” The darker haired male wondered as he felt his freedom get stripped bare by what the god referred to as the beast in him.

The days passed and the white haired man seemed to only look worse and worse. 

“I thought I should be fixed by now?!” He yelled, crushing a glass against the shrine wall. They hadn’t left this shrine ever since Jumin had agreed to being his soulmate. “I got my love to reciprocate what else could it be?” Zen held his arms around himself and rocked, sobs raking through his body. 

Jumin laid himself over the man’s back and held him. He didn’t know how to love but he tried. He was always there for the man. He never left. He was always in his sight. He gave him affection. He gave him attention. He even didn’t mind the beast as the man had called it. 

And Zen gave him equal attention. He was always there, tending to his every need. Jumin enjoyed the attention and love and care from the man but he didn’t enjoy watching him suffer. The man was still dying and they didn’t know why. They couldn’t ask the witch because Jumin was told Zen didn’t know where she even was. 

Jumin traced his fingers across the man’s back, feeling him shiver through the thin yukata he wore. 

“Jumin.” Zen spoke. Jumin hummed in question and felt it rumble through the man’s back as he spoke again. “You love me don’t you?”

“Of course. Don’t you know?” Jumin asked. Zen nodded. 

“I do... you don’t think I’m ugly do you? You’re watching me die and I can’t imagine it’s a pretty sight.” Jumin held the man tighter. 

“You are always beautiful and always will be in my eyes. But watching you die is hard.”

“You haven’t shed a tear.”

“I don’t normally shed tears.”

“Creepy.” 

“I agree.” Jumin felt the man twist in his hold and felt a hand tilt his chin up. 

“I wish we could be together forever.” Zen’s eyes were like dark welts in the dark light. The shrine seemed to always be a deep red. 

“We could be.” Jumin said and Zen shook his head. 

“Not when I’m dying. Eventually we will be apart.” Jumin didn’t like the pained expression the albino wore. 

“I don’t want to be apart. Can’t I tie you to me? I can tie you in red strings and ribbon, I can lock you in a cage and you can be mine forever... Zen.” Jumin leaned closer to the man and whispered against his lips. He felt Zen’s agreement in his kiss. 

“I wish you could.” Zen whispered in between harsh breaths from lack of breaks in their hurried kisses. Jumin fisted the silk of the yukata the albino wore and pushed the man down on his back. 

“Mine.” Jumin pressed his lips to the man’s collarbone and sucked a deep mark and bit. “Mine.” He continued his ministrations across the man’s chest anywhere he could reach. “Mine.”

“Yours.” The other replied. Zen gripped dark hair in his hands and pushed the other on his back in a fight for dominance. “And you are mine.” 

“Yours.” Jumin whispered in a light breath as the other kissed down his neck. 

The next morning it was hard for Zen to breathe. Jumin sat by his side and held his hand, he wanted to hold him but didn’t want to restrict his breathing anymore then it already was. 

“Ju-min.” Zen’s ragged breaths echoed in the tiny shrine. His voice was weak. Zen brushed a hand against Jumin’s face and he realized his face was wet. “You’re crying,” Jumin’s eyes widened. He doesn’t typically cry. Does love make you sad over their passing? Was this normal?

“Z-Zen.” Jumin’s voice broke and it even surprised him. It was as if he couldn’t stop crying after that. “Zen!” He gripped the man’s hand in his and held it close. “Don’t leave!” Zen gave a weak smile. 

“You’re so cute. You knew I’d have to leave and yet, now you cry for me. And I thought you wouldn’t be affected, I suppose I was wrong. Ah now I’m going to start crying.” Zen’s voice cracked and Jumin tried to stop his tears. 

“Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.” He muttered in a string. Zen coughed and rolled to the side to let the flowers fall. Jumin helped him sit up and rubbed his back only for the small thin man to fall into his arms. Zen had lost his muscles and was anorexic. Zen fisted his hand into Jumin’s striped shirt, opened down a few buttons, his blazer and suit coat was lost days ago, weakly grasping. 

“Jumin, thank you for everything.” 

“No... this is my fault. It’s all my fault because now you’re dying.” Zen looked up and held the man’s crying face with a smile. 

“Don’t say that. You made my days enjoyable. And I’m glad I met you. I’m only sorry I couldn’t be your forever.” Zen tried to wipe away Jumin’s tears but they kept falling. “Keep my strings. And the ribbon. Keep it and remember me and our love.” Jumin leaned his head against the shorter man’s and sucked in a painful breath. Jumin could feel Zen’s beating heart, slow but beating. 

“Zen.” Jumin choked out. 

“Jumin.” Zen breathed. His hand slipped from the man’s face and fell limp in his lap. 

“Zen.” Jumin spoke again, his voice breaking on the one syllable. The other man didn’t respond. Jumin never heard words like honey ever again. He never heard the man’s boisterous personality. He never heard his dramatics. He never heard his affections. His soft moans and soft I love yous. He never heard another word. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you are here from my tiktok then hello! If you are not then go check it out because this is also a short cosplay mini series! My tiktok is ares_e. Thank you for reading, loves!


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